"-Porn" As A Suffix

“Porn” can mean different things. It’s usually applied to sexual imagery or writing. That’s an appropriate context, and probably the only one considered correct by the people who write and edit dictionaries. However, if you think about what it is that distinguishes porn from what I’ll call for convenience “normal sex”, then you can broaden the definition.

The separation comes from the fact that pornographic photos represent some “ideal”, usually in the form of a woman. Actually, a photo of a woman who’s probably had some “augmentation”; she’s been reworked with makeup, and finally the photos have been modified with editing software. In other words, a modification to fit some sort of fantasy ideal. Porn viewers who are honest with themselves will admit that they know this is something that can never actually be attained. It’s there to enjoy visually, to daydream about maybe.

I’m not a huge fan of pornography myself. Nothing against it. Have at it if it’s your thing. I just never thought of sex as a spectator sport.

However, with the broadened definition, well, now we’re getting to my point. The broadened part being that intent of visual enjoyment and fantasizing.

At some point in the last year, I was introduced to the term “bike porn”. It was after I’d spent an evening reposting pic after pic of cool bikes on facebook. An old friend of mine from the Navy, who is currently without a motorcycle, commented “Enough with the bike porn! You’re driving me crazy!”

Then, I discovered Blogger and Tumblr. I found a lot of blogs that post lots of photos of custom motorcycles that I’d love to have/ride/build. These, too, have been repainted, had their frames and suspensions modified, they sometimes only bear a vague resemblance to their stock form. However, much like the sex starved man who will never be with the porn star, I know I’ll never have these bikes. Which is fine - I’m actually very happy with my current ride. But still, it’s nice to dream, eh?

Same with tattoo blogs. Again, with the changing and customizing of the body to fit a desired appearance. This one’s a little different, though - more attainable. I’m pretty heavily tattooed, and I’m not stopping. I really appreciate the artistry and imagery of tattoo.

Thus, “porn” as a suffix. Most of the blogs I follow are either bike-porn or tat-porn.

Sixth Street Bikes Bars and Best Pizza

The Boy Child, being a twelve year old suburban boy, and my son, is a heavy metal fan. So, when he once overheard me mention Hoek's Death Metal Pizza in downtown Austin, of course he immediately wanted to go. The problem is that Hoek's caters to the party crowd, because let's face it; there's really no other reason to open a business on that stretch of 6th Street. As such, it doesn't open until 7:00 pm. I finally decided this was the weekend, though. I loaded Boy Child into helmet and onto bike, and away we went, intending to get in, eat, and take a quick walk up the street just so he could get a glimpse of Austin nightlife before the drunks were out in clumsy, staggering force, presenting a danger to unaware preteens.

I have to say that when I first encountered Hoek's, I assumed it was gimmicky and would be the kind of food you'd only like when drunk. I was wrong. This is probably my favorite pizza in Austin - it's that good. And the "Death Metal" part? Yeah, they're not kidding about that. Metallica would be considered elevator music in this place. They have a Slayer poster/banner on the wall, but I'm pretty sure they consider that meditation/relaxation music.

The cartoon Metalocalypse was playing on a TV, with subtitles on, so metalheads could enjoy their metal cartoon without losing any deathly metallic ambiance. You can see also from the photos that they take their name quite seriously:

Would you expect anything less?

Because even Lucifer needs to hydrate sometimes.

Beelzebub's mom's secret recipe. Don't ask for it.

After eating our pizza, we took a quick stroll up 6th. We saw a couple of cool bikes parked on the street, because it is Austin, after all.

I actually know the owner of this one, but I didn't see him anywhere.

Boy Child is an artist, and is interested in becoming a tattoo artist. Most shops have a strict "No Children" policy, but Black Cat Tattoo, where I got my back done, is pretty open, even to the point of tattooing in front of a big plate glass window open to the sidewalk. I knew he could at least watch through the window if they wouldn't let him in. They were fine with him being there, though, so he finally got to see the inside of a tattoo shop without watching reality TV to do it.


And of course, no mention of Austin's 6th Street on a Saturday night can be complete without bars. No, of course, we didn't go into any, but I have to mention them. It's an unwritten law. I'm also required to remind you that Austin is the "Live Music Capital of the World". 6th Street is the epicenter of that music scene.

A couple of bars had some rather witty sandwich board signs to lure customers in. I had to share.

You notice Mr. Hemmingway didn't advocate not drinking?

 We had a good time riding, scarfing some pizza, and people watching. I'm guessing in about nine years, we'll probably go inside more of the landmark establishments.