So, I’m 47 years old and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I know – it’s a popular joke, but in my case, it’s the truth. I’ve tried
several many, jobs, but rarely do they turn out to be
something I can both enjoy and earn a
I actually don’t like working.
I know - no one does; that’s why they have to pay you to do it. I don’t need any feedback telling me “yeah, good luck – you just have to man up and go to work”.
I get that.
And to work I go. And I’m generally miserable. I try not to complain, and to put on at least a neutral face if I can’t fake happy. So just know that if you hear me complain about work, it’s because it’s gotten to the point that it makes me miserable. I don’t bother talking about simple dissatisfaction anymore. I just really don’t know of anything I wouldn’t eventually become miserable doing every day. At least not something I can earn a living from. I had something close, and I stuck with that for over fifteen years, but then that job disappeared like a morning mist when the sun hits it.
I’d even like to find a job where I don’t find myself spending the day in the pattern of
Clock inWait for break
Wait for lunchEscape into social media or a book
Wait for breakDesperately hang on until quitting time
Rinse and repeat five days a week
The closest I’ve come is my fairly recently realized love for writing. I don’t know if I can make a living at it or not, but I’m going to try to figure out how to maybe at least get some extra cash out of it. I’ve started a new, more focused blog and once it’s going strong, I’ll increase its presence through social media, and see if I can’t maybe get some sponsors, or at least some paid advertising or something. If you want to help a motorcycle obsessed nut job and you like bike related writing, check out http://ridinandwritin.blogspot.com/. I’ll still write here, for things that don’t apply there, and hopefully I have an audience here, too. Who knows? Maybe I’ll make it as a writer some day. Probably not, but fuck it. I’m gonna write whether I get paid or not.